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Attachment style

4 min · 12 statements

Attachment theory describes how we behave in close relationships: how much we fear being left and how comfortable we are being close to someone. Those two axes, anxiety and avoidance, give four styles.

Think of close relationships in general: a partner, close friends, family. Answer how things usually are, not how you would like them to be.

I often worry that someone close to me doesn’t really love me.
I feel uncomfortable when someone gets too close to me.
If someone takes a long time to reply, I start thinking something is wrong.
I find it easy to tell people close to me how I feel.
I need to hear often that I am valued.
I prefer to deal with difficulties on my own rather than ask for help.
I rarely fear being left.
When a relationship gets serious, I want to pull back.
I get very upset when someone close spends time without me.
I feel at ease when I can rely on someone.
I feel I give more in relationships than I get back.
I find it hard to trust people completely.
Your answers stay in your browser.

Who you might turn out to be

SecureLow anxiety, low avoidanceAnxiousHigh anxiety, low avoidanceAvoidantLow anxiety, high avoidanceFearful-avoidantHigh anxiety, high avoidance

What this test can’t tell you

An attachment style is neither a diagnosis nor a sentence: it changes with experience and in good relationships. The test shows where you sit on two axes right now. The statements were written by our editors after the two-dimensional model of attachment; this is not the standardised ECR questionnaire and does not replace working with a psychologist.

Sources

  1. Bartholomew K., Horowitz L. M. Attachment styles among young adults: a test of a four-category model. 1991.
  2. Brennan K. A., Clark C. L., Shaver P. R. Self-report measurement of adult attachment: an integrative overview. 1998.

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